When the Empty Nest Is Full
It was so nice having my son home for a couple weeks, even though I barely saw him. Between baseball camps, a wedding, and a bachelor party, we barely crossed paths, but we did manage to grab dinner one night. As much as I loved having him under this roof again, I have to admit that after three years of him officially not living here, it’s strange to come downstairs and find him on the couch watching TV.
Here’s some backstory if you’re new here. My husband passed away in March of 2023. My daughter had moved out a couple years earlier, but my son was still living at home, building his baseball resume. Which clearly paid off, because he landed a position as recruiting coordinator for the University of Virginia’s baseball team. He moved to Virginia in late May of 2023. So there I was, living alone for the first time in my life, at fifty-three years old. Just me and Thea.
I’ve always loved alone time. But having alone time is different from living alone. I’ll admit I went through a phase of carrying my phone everywhere, because I kept picturing myself falling down the stairs with no one around to find me. Thea’s a good dog, but she’s no Lassie. I knew she wasn’t running to get help.
It didn’t take me long to get used to living alone…three weeks, maybe. Then, about a year and a half in, my daughter moved back temporarily after a breakup. Sort of like her brother, she planned to stay here in between apartments. That ended up being longer term, mostly because there was no real reason for her to leave. I’m in a four bedroom, two and a half bath house by myself, and rent is absurd right now. She ended up moving into our finished garage, which looks like its own little studio apartment. She calls it her lair. So even though she technically lives here, she mostly stays in her own space. In a lot of ways, I still live alone.
Which is why having my son home for those two weeks took some adjusting. I had to remember to shut the bathroom door. Not walk around the house in various states of undress. Close my bedroom door when I’m changing. Small things, but things I’d stopped thinking about.
As much as I love having my kids home, I won’t pretend it isn’t a little strange when they’re back in my space, even temporarily.
With a lot of you dropping kids off at college right now, I’m curious…is this your first year as an empty nester, or have you been one for a while? And if you have, do you notice the same thing I do, that you love when they come back, but it still takes some getting used to having them in your space again?
